Five top tips for mums and dads sending their kids off to university

Many parents find bidding farewell to their children as they head off to university a difficult experience.

It signifies the end of an era as their child makes the transition into adulthood and becomes more independent.

But, fortunately, a parenting expert has given five top tips to help parents adjust to a quieter household as millions of students prepare to fly the nest this month.   

Professor Deborah Christie is a consultant clinical psychologist and professor of paediatric and adolescent psychology at University College Hospital, London.

Following a concerning study by glucose sensor Abbott FreeStyle Libre 2 Plus - which automatically reads sugar levels, for teens and adults with diabetes - Prof Christie shared her expert advice.

The study shows teens are ill-equipped to deal with the real world, with more than a quarter still unable to boil an egg.

A thought experiment 

The professor's first tip was for parents to think about how they felt at this time of their life and think about what their parents did to make it easier for them and also what they did that wasn't helpful.

She advises taking a note of this and then realizing that however ready you felt to leave home at that time, your parents would have felt how you do now.

Prof Christie added: 'Look at how far you have come and congratulate yourself. You’ve done an amazing job to get your kids to this point in their life.' 

You know how to do this!

Next the expert suggested giving yourself a pat on the back for looking after your child and getting them to this point into their life.

She said: 'Since they were born you have helped them go from a baby that needed you all the time to an emerging adult ready to step out into the world.

'How did you help them with each of these transitions through the developmental stages of childhood to adolescence?

'How did you help them transition into nursery? How did you help them go to secondary school? You know how to do this – you’ve got this!' 

Practice makes perfect 

Prof Christie believes preparation is key when getting ready for your child to leave home. She advises creating a 'toolkit' of skills for living independently. 

She says: 'Make a list of all the things that they might need to know how to do. Can they shop for and cook simple basic meals? Get them to help you with the weekly shop and prepare some basics – so they don’t have to live on dried noodles!

'Then get them to help with family meals and see if they can do that. If not, how will you help them learn?'

Prepare for 'what ifs' 

As a parent you will know things don't always go to plan in your child's life and sometimes all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces. 

Tasks Brit teens have never done

According to the research these are the tasks British teens have never undertaken according to their parents:

1. Set up car insurance – 60%

2. Set up a direct debit – 54%

3. Set up a TV Licence – 54%

4. Clean the oven – 51%

5. Sign up to the electoral register – 51%

6. Pay a household bill – 48%

7. Iron - 46%

8. Do their laundry – 43%

9. Book a doctor’s appointment – 40%

10. Open a bank account – 40%

11. Do a weekly shop – 40%

12. Make a ‘spag bol’ – 34%

13. Take out the bins – 27%

14. Boil an egg – 26%

15. Fold the laundry – 24%

16. Read the train timetable – 24%

17. Change their bed sheets – 22%

18. Put away and hang up clothes – 21%

19. Clean out a pet’s hutch or cage – 19%

20. Wash up after a meal – 19%

The professor explains how the adolescent brain is designed to look for and explore new experiences so you can never avoid all risk.

But, she stresses that you can ensure as part of the toolkit you have a ‘what if’ resource of useful numbers, affirmations – or just statements.

These could include notes like ‘call mum if I’m miserable’, which you can keep on their phone or computer. 

The expert also tells mothers and fathers to 'have a chat about what they will do if they feel homesick, stressed, or anxious, feel like they want to quit, lose focus or motivation or have their heart broken.'

Just one piece of the jigsaw 

Parental worries highlighted in FreeStyle Libre’s research are amplified if you are one of the 3 in 10 families that care for an adolescent living with a chronic condition like Type 1 diabetes.

Professor Christie said: 'All parents agree technology can provide peace of mind.

'Remember that adolescents with chronic conditions may face more difficulties than their peers, but they also have more commonalities than differences. 

'Their condition is just one part of the amazing jigsaw that their life is and will be. And technologies like health monitors and alarms for diabetes are there to help.'