'I'm expected to pay over €1,300 to attend hen do - it's an awkward situation'

A woman has explained how her friend's maid-of-honour wants her to spend $1,500 (€1,350) to attend a hen do - but she thinks this is way too much money to spend on a friend

A woman has sparked a debate for blasting a maid-of-honour for organising a hen do costing $1,500 (€1,350) per person. While she wants to support her friend ahead of her wedding, and doesn't want to miss out on all the fun, she doesn't want to spend over the odds for it.

But this isn't the only expense she is up against as she is also expected to buy the bride gifts for her engagement party, bridal shower, wedding and buy dresses for all of these occasions.

Taking to Reddit, she said: "My good friend is getting married next year and she’s always been the type who’s said she would never expect people to spend a lot of money for her wedding.

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"I’m a bridesmaid and her maid-of-honour is organising a bachelorette trip costing around $1500 (€1,350)/person. They claim to be doing a second bachelorette locally for those who can’t attend. But I don’t even understand why people should be put in an awkward situation where they have to say no. It just seems selfish to expect someone to spend that much for their wedding and travel with people they wouldn’t have otherwise."

Spending thousands of dollars on friend’s wedding
byu/Inner-Flower-7521 inweddingshaming

She went on to explain how she has four other weddings to attend next year - and is trying to set aside money for her own wedding too. She added: "I think my friend would be understanding if I told her financially I wouldn’t be able to come but even if I did go on this trip, would I then have to pay god knows how much to also attend this local bachelorette party too?

"This international trip also happens to be on the same weekend as our best man’s bachelor/ bachelorette, which would be local and nowhere near as expensive. Best man is fiancé’s best friend. So if I don’t go I don’t want it to look like I’m picking theirs over hers."

She believes it would be more reasonable and just as much fun to have a one-day hen do locally, costing around £150 per person. This would include activities as well as food and drink for the day. She said: "My fiancé told his best man about the situation and thought it's not right to expect someone to shell out that much for their bachelorette.

"The worst part is that the maid-of-honour is expecting everyone to cover part of the bride’s trip so she travels for free so my theory is the less people who go the more expensive it’ll be for each person to cover their part of the brides portion. That’s included in the cost." Commenting on her post, one user said: "You are way overthinking this. Just say you can’t afford to go and be done with it."

Another user added: "Fun trips with friends are awesome. If this particular trip doesn’t fit your vibe and spending priorities, that’s totally fine. Just bow out gracefully. But it’s not an inappropriate thing for the bride to want. I’m a teacher - so not a loaded friend group by any means - and $1500 doesn’t sound that bad for a fun trip with girlfriends." A third user said: "I would politely decline. $1500 is just expecting too much."

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