A Christmas and New Year's guide for the introverts

Introverts will be approaching this time of year with nervous trepidation about the increased demands for social interactions.

Sydney-based clinical psychologist Rachel Harker says it can be overwhelming and exhausting for introverts to go to social end-of-year type of events, so she's got some suggestions to help.

"There might be some people that can mask feeling introverted at parties and might act more confident and outgoing but there might be others that are quieter, maybe in the corner, struggling to socialise that you might kind of pick up they might be more introverted inside."

Understand your limits and respect them

There are some gatherings that we just can't say no to, so it's important to find coping mechanisms and be prepared, Harker tells Afternoons.

"If you're feeling particularly anxious or nervous about going or struggling with knowing what to say - a really helpful tip that anyone can use is to prepare topics in advance to discuss.

"It can be really helpful for people especially on the more anxious side of things, where their mind might go blank in these social situations and really struggle with knowing what to contribute. So if you prepare perhaps three to five topics in advance, it can really help on the night and be prepared to contribute and participate.

"My suggestion would be to either make them relevant to the party or the time of year. For example, you could ask what are your Christmas plans? Are you going away at all? … Are you getting any time off work? What are you looking forward to?"

You could even jot them down in your notes app on your phone to refer to when you get anxious.

Don't rely on alcohol to boost your confidence

It's okay to have a few drinks if that's what you choose to do, Harker says, but don't rely on alcohol to be your social lubricant or boost your confidence.

"I think relying on alcohol can end the night in a way that you might not want the night to end."

Plan recovery time

Prioritising self-care and down time after an event is particularly crucial for introverts who need some solo time to recharge, she says.

"It's also helpful because knowing you have this time planned in advance can help make committing to the social events more comfortable."

Focus on fewer and more meaningful connections

"Don't pressure yourself to talk to everyone. I'd say it's always important to say hello, and thank the host. But beyond that, choose one or two safe people to focus on. One on one conversations or small groups will feel more manageable and allow you to feel less overwhelmed."

Honour your RSVP

Don't bail out at the last minute with an excuse, she says.

"Obviously it might depend on what type of event it is but a lot of the time the host has likely put in a lot of time, effort, perhaps money into the event.

"So I think it's just good manners if you said you'd go to go, but, of course, sometimes things come up so if you can't go at the last minute or if it really is truly overwhelming for you, just let the host know with as much notice as possible."

Extroverts can help

If you're quite the extrovert who is a pro at these gatherings and you notice someone feeling shy or uncomfortable, take the initiative to "take them under their wing", Harker says.

"Have a one on one chat with them, ask them if you want to introduce them to anyone or include them in the conversation. So it takes the burden off the introvert having to do it themselves."

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