Perrin Hastings: Helping non-binary people find comfort through The Gender Agenda
· RNZWhere do I belong? It's a question every human being has to answer for themselves but one that can be especially painful for transgender people.
Before coming out as non-binary in their late 20s, Auckland creative Perrin Hastings felt like an alien in their attempts to present as a "Kiwi bloke".
In the new video series The Gender Agenda, Hastings takes viewers on a fun, informative journey of discovery about trans and non-binary lifestyles.
Making the show helped Hastings relax into their own identity after decades of unease, they told RNZ's Saturday Morning.
"I am now far more comfortable in who I am today and that would not be the case without this documentary happening."
As a child, Hastings "trusted the adults" on what was acceptable behaviour for a boy and did not have the tools to talk to their family about gender dysphoria.
After they came out as gay, uncomfortable feelings persisted, until in their late 20s Hastings realised they were non-binary.
"I was like 'Okay, but what does that mean?' It's such a broad term and often hard to understand for people, and even identifying with it can mean so many different things. What does that actually mean for me?"
As a young adult, Hastings said, they started introducing the idea of being non-binary to the family gradually.
"I started with just slipping in 'Hey, I wore a dress the other day' and 'Christmas is coming up. I would be interested in someone buying me some makeup - here are some brands'. Just slipping in these little things to get them used to, 'hey, I'm a bit gender non-conforming'.
"Later it become a more serious conversation about 'Hey, this is how I like to be referred to. This is how I see myself, identity-wise' and just guiding them through that."
In the future, Hastings is excited to help guide and support other young non-binary Kiwis - either on The Gender Agenda or as a community advocate.
"There are so many stories out there that need to be shared. If I can be a conduit of that, if I can be the person who's making funny noises between all the wisdom, then I would love to be that."