Nottingham man finds his donor match through online dating

The couple are now happily married

A Nottingham man who met his wife through online dating not only found love but also a match for his kidney transplant. After a routine check-up for high blood pressure in 2014, 65 year old Steven Murfin from Mansfield received a call from his doctor telling him that his kidney function was only at 24 per cent.

Steve, who was a Nottingham University Hospitals NHS Trust (NUH) patient said: “The doctor explained my kidney function to me and that he had notified City Hospital of the result, and the hospital then rang a few days later asking for me to go and visit them.”

These results led to a series of hospital visits, tests, and a biopsy which found kidney failure. Steve added: “After the tests I returned to work, but four days later, my legs swelled up badly and sadly, I had to give up my job as a truck driver. For six months I was back and forth to the hospital before finding another job in mental health and all was going well up until 2020.”

On Christmas Eve, 2020, Steven began peritoneal dialysis treatment at City Hospital as his kidney function plummeted to only 10 per cent. He said: “During the time of COVID-19, my family lived in Derby, and I didn’t realise what a big deal this was until the new year began. It hit me hard, I had had to give up my new job and I was on my own. The only person I saw was my nurse coming in and checking I was okay.

"I felt mentally low, and I just thought this was it until I was offered a new kidney. It was a lonely time, but I kept doing my lifesaving dialysis treatment.” However, his spirits were lifted when he met Julie, his now-wife, through online dating.

He said: “I met Julie through Facebook Dating and she just kept me going. After lockdown ended, I decided to meet Julie for the very first time and she was so supportive. She started taking me to hospital appointments and she was there through every potential transplant call I received.”

Despite several transplant offers, none were suitable until Julie herself underwent nearly a year of testing to determine if she could be a donor. Steven said: “We got the call to say there was a spot for the transplant procedure to go ahead as Julie was a match.

"I had the operation in May 2023 and all went well on the day. We celebrated a year later after the operation and we are both doing really well.” This year marks 30 years of the NHS Organ Donar Register. Almost 60,000 lives have been saved since the NHS Organ Donor Register was created in 1994.

Organ Donation Week (from September 23) is a week-long campaign that takes place every year, with the aim of raising awareness about the incredible gift of organ donation. Nottingham NUH is one of the highest donating hospitals in the UK. Steven added: "Organ donation can change someone’s life, like it did mine. My wife did her research and decided to donate her kidney to me, but she said if it wasn't right for me then she would have been happy for someone else to receive it. People should be brave and think about how they can help an adult or child through donating an organ. Whatever you can donate, do it. It will help someone have a life.

“A massive thank you goes to Julie and all of the doctors and nurses who helped me through it all.” Julie said: “Everyone who can donate, should think about it and try to help someone in need!”

Sadie Harris, Specialist Nurse Organ Donation, said: “Within NUH, we are able to facilitate and support organ donation, both the live donor programme, where Julie was able to donate a kidney to Steven, but also deceased donation, where you donate your organs to a stranger after you have died. This is something we are incredibly proud of. We spend time educating and promoting organ donation, meaning everyone involved is best placed to help families in times of great stress and grief.

“As we approach the 30th anniversary of the organ donor register, it is so important to think about what your organ donation decision is, registering this online, and then letting your family and friends know. Doing this protects your family from having to make that decision on your behalf, if organ donation is ever a possibility for you. A specialist nurse will consult the register and then spend time with your family empowering them to support your decision.

“Simply put, Organ Donation saves lives. Go online today and register your decision at www.organdonation.nhs.uk.”