Super loving fit dad needed help but it was 'three days too late'

Thomas Madden, known as Tommy, died on Tuesday, September 17, after he took his own life.

The family of Thomas Madden, lovingly referred to as Tommy, are heartbroken after his suicide. The 49-year-old from Kirkby, Merseyside passed away on Tuesday, September 17.

His daughters, Lily, aged 23, and Layla, 19, paid a heartfelt tribute, describing their father as "incredible, kind and funny". Tommy had battled with mental health issues, which took a turn for the worse recently.

During an emotional conversation with the ECHO, his eldest daughter Lily shared memories of her father. She said: "Dad was always super loving and caring. He was the life and soul of the party and he loved being the centre of attention. I am exactly the same."

Her words continued with warmth: "If you see any of these qualities in me, I probably learned them from him. He looked big and strong, but he was a big softy, he had two girls and girl dogs."

Tommy’s enthusiasm for sport was well-known, as he participated in bodybuilding, Ironman triathlons and marathons. Lily spoke of how she inherited her passion for fitness from her dad and even trained with him for her first bodybuilding contest last year.

Emphasising her father's determination, Lily remarked: "Whatever he set his mind to, he just did it." She expressed that his commitment to competitive sports reflected his resilience and underscored the seriousness of mental health conditions.

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Lily shared her personal sentiment on social media stating: "He was invincible, my protector, I never felt unsafe or threatened, he would tell me to 'send them to dad'. My dad was incredibly strong-willed, superman some might have called him."

"He completed iron men, marathons, you gave him a challenge and he would set his mind to it and do it. I guess all these things really show the seriousness of mental health illnesses. He was so strong, and he tried so hard, and the demons in his own head still got the better of him."

Lily explained that her dad was under the care of the home treatment team—a crisis service that offers support to patients facing a mental health crisis outside of hospital settings, as per charity Mind's description. She alleged her dad had been classified as a "risk to himself" by the mental health services.

According to her account, the crisis team assured Tommy and the family that he would be placed in an inpatient unit within a day. Tragically, she claimed that Tommy was told this for three days in a row. She remarked: "Three days too late in the end."

A representative for Mersey Care NHS Trust expressed their condolences for the passing of a person under their mental health care and extended thoughts to his friends and family. Citing patient confidentiality, they mentioned their inability to comment further but confirmed full cooperation with external investigations.

Lily, alongside her sister Layla, is determined to publicise their father’s story to highlight the importance of mental health awareness. They are convinced that the existing mental health system requires reform.

Emphasising the urgent needs of those at risk, Lily stated: "People who want to take their own life don't want to speak to someone on the phone, they want to be taken away for help."

"We want to save as many people as we can by sharing our story," Lily disclosed, expressing her thoughts on social media. "Please ask each other if you're OK, please take mental health seriously and believe people when they tell you they're struggling."

"And if you are struggling, please know that my phone is always on loud, my texts, DMs are always open, please speak to people and know that you're not alone." In a heartfelt tribute, Lily extended special thanks to her best friend Sophie Allen, a paramedic.

Sophie took on the immensely difficult task of identifying their father post-mortem, sparing the sisters the additional agony. "She did not want to put us through the pain of having to do that. However, she still had a relationship with our dad and I know this has traumatised her. I wanted to say thank you."

To honour Tommy, Lily and her sister Layla are fundraising for the Mental Health Foundation.

Samaritans are on hand to help people 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and can be contacted by calling 116 123 or visiting their website.

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