Financial dependency makes women stay in abusive relationships – study

Women's main source of income are grants

“Implement gender-transformative and economic empowerment interventions to improve the economic status and stability of women and their families. Enhance the overall livelihoods of men and women and focus on enhancing the economic security of women with disabilities by addressing poverty and resulting food insecurity.”

These are some of the recommendations by the Human Science Research Council in SA’s first study on gender-based violence (GBV) which was released on Monday.

The study found that women's main source of income was grants.

“Men were more likely to be employed, salary or wages was the main source of income. [This] underscores the extent that women’s dependency on other sources of income for survival is likely to be a risk factor for economic abuse and controlling behaviour.

“Most of the physical violence that is perpetrated by a non-partner happens in the family or is perpetrated by a family member.”

The report shines a spotlight on financial abuse which in many cases leads women to stay in abusive relationships.

Jessica Pillay, a financial adviser at Momentum Financial Planning, defines financial abuse as a “form of abuse that is often hidden in plain sight but its impact can be devastating, leaving victims financially trapped and emotionally drained”.

“Gender-based violence remains a widespread and deeply troubling issue in SA with its effects felt in countless homes across the country. While physical and emotional abuse often takes centre stage in discussions, there is another form of abuse that is just as destructive — financial abuse.

“Financial abuse involves using money as a weapon to control, manipulate and undermine a partner’s independence, often leaving them dependent and voiceless,” says Pillay.

Monday marks the beginning of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence.

“It’s essential for women — especially those in abusive situations — to understand what financial abuse looks like and to ask themselves, ‘Do I have a financial voice, or am I constantly silenced?’”

Both partners should be able to make spending decisions without constant scrutiny.Jessica Pillay, a financial adviser at Momentum Financial Planning

But how do you know if you are in a financially abusive relationship?

“Financial abusers often try to limit your ability to work, pursue a career or study, effectively cutting off your access to financial independence. By keeping you financially dependent, they maintain control over you.

“A controlling partner may prevent you from seeking medical care or deliberately make it difficult for you to access healthcare services, putting your wellbeing at risk. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to make spending decisions without constant scrutiny. If you find yourself having to explain every small expense, or if your partner monitors your spending excessively, this is a clear sign of financial control,” says Pillay.

She says financial abusers may “ruin your credit score by either mismanaging shared debts or actively sabotaging your financial stability”.

“This leaves you unable to access loans, rent an apartment, or make major purchases on your own. Some victims are forced to hand over all their income to their abuser, who then controls how the money is spent. This fosters total financial dependence, making it almost impossible for the victim to break free.

“During divorce or maintenance negotiations, some abusers hide their true financial situation, especially when the woman has been a homemaker or full-time mother. The common assumption that “she didn’t work for a cent” is not only false but devalues the important contribution that caregiving and managing a household makes to the family. These hidden assets can severely affect a woman’s financial future.”

Pillay says it is important to recognise the signs so that one can protect themselves.

“By recognising the signs of financial abuse, understanding your rights, and taking steps to protect yourself, you can break free from the cycle of control and build a secure, independent future. It’s time to own your power and your financial life and start shaping a future where you are the one in charge. 

“Together, we can create a society where financial abuse is no longer tolerated, and where every woman has the freedom and power to build her own financially secure future,” says Pillay.

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