Five bottles of wine and the moment in the back of a prison van that her life changed forever

It should have been the lowest point of her life.

But sitting in the back of the prison van as she made her way to jail, mum-of-four Lilly Lewis had a sudden moment of clarity.

The 53-year-old had already lost decades to addiction and toxic relationships and the six year sentence felt like the cherry on top of it all.

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Lilly knew she was going to use her platform to support others – raising awareness about the challenges women face in the criminal justice system.

“The day I was sentenced, I knew my life was going to get better,” the mum, from Radcliffe, told the Manchester Evening News.

“Sitting in the prison van, I knew I was going in and I was going to support people. Six months into my sentence, I contacted the sentencing judge. I wanted to thank him for my sentence.

“I told him he had given me the gift of time – time I had never had in my life. I intended to use it to become a better person and a better parent.”

Lilly’s life started with rejection. Born half-Jamaican, her mother feared her family wouldn’t accept a mixed-race child and left her in the hospital.

Help and support

Samaritans (116 123) samaritans.org operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org, write to Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS (no more information needed) and visit www.samaritans.org/branches to find your nearest branch.

For support for people feeling suicidal, if you are concerned about someone or if you are bereaved by suicide see http://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk

CALM (0800 58 58 58) thecalmzone.net has a helpline is for men who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support. They're open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year.

Greater Manchester Bereavement Service Greater Manchester Bereavement Service can help to find support for anyone in Greater Manchester that has been bereaved or affected by a death. No one needs to feel alone as they deal with their grief. www.greater-manchester-bereavement-service.org.uk

Childline (0800 1111 ) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.

PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

Beat Eating Disorders: Beat provides helplines for adults and young people offering support and information about eating disorders. These helplines are free to call from all phones. Adult Helpline: 0808 801 0677, Studentline: 0808 801 0811, Youthline: 0808 801 0711. www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

Anorexia & Bulimia Care: ABC provide on-going care, emotional support and practical guidance for anyone affected by eating disorders, those struggling personally and parents, families and friends. Helpline: 03000 11 12 13. www.anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk/

Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts. Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying studentsagainstdepression.org

For information and links to charities and organisations that can help with substance abuse, visit https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/drugs/

Lilly was taken to an orphanage before being adopted at the age of two – but the instability of her early years set the tone of what was to come.

As she grew older, her mental health began to decline, eventually seeing her turn to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope.

At the height of her addiction, the mum was drinking up to five bottles of wine a day. “I self-medicated with alcohol and cocaine,” Lilly said. “In the end, I was drinking five bottles of wine a day. I didn’t leave the house."

Lilly found herself in a number of toxic relationships over the years, where alcohol and drug use spiralled.

The spiral came to a head in 2016 when Lilly was sentenced to six years and seven months in prison at Birmingham Crown Court for her involvement in a fraud case.

For two years, Lilly remained on bail and her substance abuse spiralled further. “I don’t ever remember being sober around one specific boyfriend,” she added. “My substance abuse got worse and I tried to take my own life twice."

But the day she was given the lengthy term for conspiracy to defraud, something shifted.

For Lilly, being locked up marked an unexpected turning point, using the painful experience as an opportunity to overcome her traumas and plan a better future.

It also gave her the gift of time – something she had never had before. “Prison was the safest I had ever been because I had been through so much trauma and abuse,” she told the M.E.N.

“But there was also a lack of hope. There was so much hopelessness among the women. The majority were repeat offenders, most of them trapped in cycles of crime while trying to beat substance issues."

Lilly went on to see first hand the broken systems within her time in prison, being moved from HMP Foston Hall, HMP New Hall, HMP Styal, HMP Drake Hall to HMP Askham Grange, witnessing violence between inmates and other crimes.

Yet she describes prison as her “safe space” – a place that allowed her to use the time to better herself and gain 11 qualifications.

By the time she was released in December 2019, Lilly was determined to support other women and advocate for reform in the criminal justice system.

“I continued to support women and highlight, on any platform, the inadequacies of the criminal justice system – particularly for women,” she said.

“From what I saw, there wasn’t any real rehabilitation. I witnessed a lot of violence between women and widespread substance misuse. The most broken people I have ever met were in prison.”

Now sober and focused on helping others, Lilly has found a new sense of purpose, working tirelessly since her release to highlight the struggles women face in the criminal justice system.

She continues to work full-time for several charities and her own Community Interest Company (CIC), using her experiences to support others who are going through similar challenges.

In 2024 she founded Watering Your Soul CIC, a community-focused initiative dedicated to providing vital support to women who have experienced domestic violence, substance misuse, homelessness and the impacts of the criminal justice system, including child removal.

Operating with a trauma-informed approach, it aims to advocate for and emphasise the women who have faced these challenges by nurturing emotional health through creative workshops, inspiring content and supportive resources.

It offers an out-of-hours service to meet immediate needs while also providing an emergency essentials programme, providing crucial resources such as clothing, phones and food to women to help regain their independence and stability.

The MOJ has been contacted for comment.

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