Drag Race star shares coming out journey and why they'll never stop performing small venues
Ru Paul's Drag Race star Banksie shared their coming out journey, and why their brush with fame won't change them as a person as their community is what means the most to them
by Danielle Kate Wroe · The MirrorNational Coming Out Day (October 11) seeks to support anyone in coming out as part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Ru Paul's Drag Race season five's Banksie has shared their journey coming out, how performing helped them come to terms with their identity, and why performing at the venues they loved and worked with pre-fame, like Manchester's Firehouse, is still so important to them, and something they will continue to do.
"I came out at 15 years old at the foot of my mum's bed crying. I was asking the questions of 'who am I?' and 'I don't understand myself' and I was feeling shame", Banksie admitted.
Banksie, 25, said they were "having feelings for somebody" and didn't know how their family "would react" - but thankfully, their mum was "amazing".
They said: "She told me every day of my entire life that she loves me but she also told me that I can never do anything to make her stop loving me and that was just one of the most amazing things in the world. I owe a lot of my life to the way my mum brought me up.
"I then had a really interesting time with coming out because I then came out as a drag queen, and then came out as being non-binary, trans-identifying as a person, and came out to my family as pansexual. I don't think I'm just attracted to men, I'm attracted to women, I'm attracted to a person. So I've done a lot of coming out in my time."
Banksie also believes it's "really important" that LGBTQIA+ people share their coming out stories, saying that people should be taught from "a young age about what love is" and that "love is for everybody".
"As long as you're a consenting adult you should be able to love whoever you so wish as long as that person is another consenting adult", Banksie said.
Thinking about the future, they shared: "Maybe one day we won't have to come out and it'll just be a case of bringing a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a same-sex partner through the door and that's enough and you welcome that person into your family", but for now, while heterosexuality is largely assumed, sharing coming out journeys can be really encouraging.
Speaking about how drag impacts their life, Banksie said: "Drag has evolved my sexuality. It's evolved my own gender. All the things I feel about myself have been heightened by drag. Drag is to experiment and to play dress up and to play with the ideas of gender, and you can do that also within sexuality [...] I realised my life doesn't have to be so black and white and there's so much grey area I've got to enjoy thanks to drag".
And when it comes to performing at Spank at The Firehouse Manchester, Banksie described it as a "pleasure and an honour" as they've been there from the "start".
"They've seen me evolve and change and they've loved me and accepted me throughout all of it", they gushed, sharing that they've had some "amazing" times with the team and they've been able to be a "creator and curator" while working there.
"The thing about Drag Race and fame is that people expect you to pack your bags and go to London, but I love my city far too much [Manchester], I love the things I've done here far too much, and I think that drag should be about what you make of it, and what I wanted to do after my Drag Race journey was to still be in my community and still be doing things I love doing, and one of those things is working at Firehouse", Banksie shared.
They are grateful for their Drag Race experience, however, as it put them on the "world stage" and helped them "feel validated", but they said it was a "quick click and you're back to normality" and their community means the most to them, so they don't want to leave.
Working alongside Banksie is 30-year-old Tyrone Roebuck, who performs in drag under the name Miss Tysie Black. They were 17 when they came out, and Tyrone was dating a man "in secret for two years" who was "really flamboyant". "I told my mum that he wasn't gay, he was just a hairdresser", Tyrone joked. "I think she kinda knew but she just went along with it."
After they'd been together for a long time, Tyrone's partner said "I need you to come out because it's not fair on me", so Tyrone came out to his mum, who "already knew", but wished she'd told him sooner and got upset. Tyrone admitted he "cringed" at this, but knew it was heartfelt saying it was "cute" and his mum is "one of the most supportive parents" saying he's "lucky".
"Being a person of colour, there are a lot of pressures to be a certain way - masculine, strong - and a lot of people don't see Black men who are gay as strong", Tyrone shared, saying that he felt he had to pretend to be something that he wasn't until he came out.
When it comes to people sharing their coming out stories, Tyrone said that it's "really important" as "it can encourage other people who are maybe worried about what people will think, or have certain fears, to see that it's not that hard and once they've done it it'll be such a relief and such a weight off their shoulders".
"The thought of coming out before I came out was like death", Tyrone admitted, saying they "couldn't think of anything worse" - but once they came out, all their worries "went out of the window" because people were so accepting. "People I was worried about knowing didn't really give a f***", he said.
Drag and performing is a great outlet for Tyrone, as when he performs as Tysie Black, he feels like he can explore his "feminine side", saying it "makes so much sense" that they perform as a drag queen as he used to explore and play with femininity as a child, wearing his mums too big shoes and "tailoring everything".
If you're struggling with your coming out journey and want to speak to someone, contact Switchboard. On their website, it states: "Switchboard is the national LGBTQIA+ support line. For anyone, anywhere in the country, at any point in their journey. We can discuss anything related to sexuality and gender identity. Whether it’s sexual health, relationships or just the way you’re feeling. This is your space – to explore, talk and be truly heard." You can call them on 0800 0119 100.