Mother of schoolgirl found dead upset by coroner's 'banter' ruling

The mother of a teenage girl who took her own life amid claims of cyber-bullying said her family has been left 'utterly heartbroken' after a coroner ruled it may have been 'just banter'.

Nicola Harteveld, whose daughter Megan Evans was just 14 when she was found dead, said she felt the comments gave the 'green light' to online abusers.

Ms Harteveld said it was 'beyond disgusting to see a conclusion that tries to blur the lines between bullying and banter, as if phrases like 'Go kill yourself' can ever be dismissed as a joke or not taken literally'.

Schoolgirl Megan Evans, 14, was found dead at her home after allegedly being targeted on social media with an 'I hate Megan Evans' campaign.

But, concluding an inquest, coroner Paul Bennett said other personal factors were involved instead of pinning the blame on online bullying.

Mr Bennett said phrases such as 'go kill yourself' were in 'regular use' online, adding that children and young people had 'different perceptions of bullying'.

The coroner said such comments could be perceived in different ways, adding: 'What may be bullying to one could be banter to another'.

Speaking after Mr Bennett gave a conclusion of suicide, but declined to find online bullying as a contributory factor, Ms Harteveld said the family are 'beyond heartbroken'.

She said: 'Megan is dead, she clearly did not take it as banter. Additionally, (for him to say) that unkind words were proven by witnesses to be sent online and in group chats to Megan, social media played no part.

'How is it acceptable to claim that such words don't amount to targeted bullying or abuse? This kind of reasoning minimises the pain and harm caused by toxic behaviour, especially on social media.

'It's ultimately given the green light for every child to use these words with no repercussions.'

Ms Harteveld, a mother of eight, from Milford Haven, Pembrokeshire, added: 'We are beyond heartbroken that all of the evidence given has been completely dismissed or refuted altogether.

'Yet Megan's perception of how things were affecting her were not considered.

'The facts were disclosed all week, and witnesses corroborated events, yet these have all been ignored.

'We need accountability, not excuses, to ensure no one else suffers like Megan did.'

She continued: 'When the verdict came, we were completely blindsided. I literally can't explain how I felt.

'It was when we heard that Megan had died. I've kind of likened it to a grenade just being thrown - you're disoriented, you go out of sync.

'I was transported right back to that moment.

'I felt like we lost her all over again. I literally couldn't believe what I was hearing.

'And the fact that it was just brushed aside as banter completely invalidated her feelings.'

During the inquest, Ms Harteveld and Megan's friends gave evidence that Megan was unhappy at school from online bullying and feeling she was being 'persecuted' by staff at Milford Haven School in Pembrokeshire.

But Mr Bennett found Megan's decision to take her own life 'was not influenced by bullying or, per se, by social media'.

He said the 'key issue upsetting Megan' was her boyfriend's alleged relationship with another girl.

Although she received messages about this, the hearing heard it was 'the substance of the messages' rather than social media itself that upset Megan.

He said: 'She was troubled by concerns over her father's illness and there were arguments with other children over suggestions that her boyfriend was behaving badly.

'It is, however, impossible to be certain what drove her to take the steps she did. I am equally satisfied that the steps she took were not related to bullying or a failure to prevent such bullying.'

The inquest heard that a photo of Megan 'smoking' had also been posted on social media - which resulted in students name calling her at school.

The Haverfordwest inquest, held last week, heard Megan was told to 'kill herself' and sent a picture message saying 'die' on social media - and hate groups had been made before they were reported to the school and taken down.

The hearing was told the 'I hate Megan Evans' group had been created online.

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But Mr Bennett did not find grounds to support the family's claims that the school had done nothing to combat bullying before her death in February 2017.

He said the school had a range of safeguarding and anti-bullying policies.

Ms Harteveld said a verdict would never bring Megan back, but they had hoped there was going to be some accountability and lessons to be learned.

She added: 'We weren't ever looking to blame any single person - it was a culmination of things that had happened, that all surmounted to what she did.

'But I do blame the fact that these things aren't picked up and they're not dealt with properly and there's no culpability for it.'

Hearing the coroner say that social media wasn't involved in her death left Nicola completely 'dumbfounded.'

She added that before the coroner finished speaking she and Megan's dad Shaun Evans, 49, walked out of the inquest at separate times to not let themselves down with their reactions.

Ms Harteveld said she and the family found the inquest process difficult - after pushing for answers for nearly eight years to finally having a date set a week after Megan's 22nd birthday.

'We've got to go through the disappointment, the injustice that we all feel. We've got to go through Christmas with that.

'It could have been done at a time where, you know, maybe we'd have been in a better place to be able to cope with this aftermath of it.'

She added: 'I feel had somebody who had a better understanding of social media and the devastating effect and the power of it, it would have been a very different verdict.'

She expressed that the ruling 'completely downplayed' and 'bypassed the impact and the danger of social media' - and the danger of using words like 'go kill yourself.'

Megan, described by her mother as 'kind', 'empathetic', 'popular' and 'mature' was a keen hockey player who was looking forward to attending a Justin Bieber concert.

The teenager had aspirations to be a special effects makeup artist or a tattoo artist. 

Ms Harteveld said: 'She was obsessed with The Walking Dead because of the zombie makeup,' Nicola said, and so she would 'practice that on her little brothers.'

'She had that real creative flair about her,' she added.

Megan took her own life on February 7, 2017, while her parents were out and she was at home with three of her siblings.

She did not leave a suicide note but the coroner said the fact she was in a room rarely used by her family and had barricaded the door suggested that she did not want to be interrupted or found quickly.

In the years following Megan's tragic death, Nicola has worked to raise awareness of mental health and the dangers of social media bullying, founding Megan's Starr Foundation which provides free counselling and peer support to young people.

After the verdict, Ms Harteveld received support internationally from hundreds of people, reminding her that 'Megan's story resonated with so many people' and is making a difference.

'So we will we will carry on raising awareness and campaigning that it's never okay to say those words, be it meant in jest or not. It's never okay,' she said.

The family - including Megan's siblings Morgan, 23, Max, 21, Molly, 19, Miles, 18, Mitchel, 16, Marley, 14 and Monty, 13, who were homeschooled following Megan's death - all work together to keep her legacy alive through the foundation.

For confidential support call The Samaritans on 116123.