Brian Dowling on parenting two daughters, religion, trolls and juggling his career

Brian Dowling rose to fame as the winner of the second series of Big Brother in 2001. Following his victory, he enjoyed a successful TV career in the UK and Stateside. But for Brian, home is where the heart is – and moving back to Ireland with husband Arthur Gourounlian in 2020 changed the trajectory of his life once more. He now hosts a daily radio show on 98FM, presents The Six O’Clock Show every evening and is a loving dad to daughters Blake and Blu – a family of their own being something he and his husband have always wanted. Here, Brian chats to RSVP about juggling parenting with his career, dealing with trolls and diversity in Irish media, as well as getting candid on the topic of religion.

Congratulations on the birth of baby Blu! How are you navigating life as a dad of two?

Thank you! Blu is a couple of months old now and the time has honestly gone so quickly. She has started to sleep through the night which is incredible. I feel like going from one child to two is like having four or five children. When you have one kid, and they’re really young, once they sleep and eat you kind of have a lot of time in between each feed to get things done. Now with having Blake — she’s two and she’s wild – you don’t really get a second. But I grew up as one of seven siblings, so I’m used to chaos and the loudness. What was a game changer was being lucky enough to step back from work on radio and television for the summer. I really immersed myself in being a dad – and living in pyjamas!

Read more: Brian Dowling’s move to Dublin helps him balance two jobs with raising two daughters

Read more: Brian Dowling and Arthur Gourounlian were reported online for going on trip away without their kids

You work long days with your daily radio show on 98FM and The Six O’Clock Show on Virgin Media. Is it hard to juggle it all?

I won’t lie, it is full on, but I’m very lucky that Athur and I have a good routine. When I lived in Straffan I’d be up every morning at 6am. I’d get Blake’s food and clothes ready for the day, take out the bins, walk 25 minutes to the bus, and commute for over an hour. I would get into 98FM, do my show, get into a car, go to Virgin Media for Six, do the show, come home — and do it all over again. But we live in Dublin now, which is so much easier for work. I remember at one point last year I was on Ireland AM on the weekends, guest hosting Six, shooting [interior series] The Salvage Squad and doing radio – and we had Blake. I’ve always been focused on work and my career and I take it very seriously. To be honest, what helps a lot is that I prioritise sleep. I go to bed most nights just after 9pm. I’ve no social life during the week, because you can’t do it all.

Arthur recently revealed on social media that a meeting with a priest over Blu’s christening left his “blood boiling”. Can you tell us what happened?

Basically, it was his ignorance in only regarding me as Blu’s guardian and not her father. Realistically, I’m very aware of the Catholic Church’s relationship with my community. I’m not a fool, I’m a 46-year-old gay man. But I’m a Catholic and I want both of our daughters to be christened because my mum would have wanted it that way. Blake was christened and I want her to make her communion and confirmation – same as Blu – and then they’ll make their own decisions. I was on daddy duty the day of the meeting with the priest, so Arthur went. Arthur is very polite. I think I would have been more, let’s just say, less polite in my response. I couldn’t believe that in this day and age, some people are still just so unwelcoming of two people who just want to get their daughter christened. That priest’s ignorance and hatred was the icing on the cake for me. Very luckily, we’re going back to a church in Straffan, where Blake was christened. You can’t let those people stop you, so we’re going full steam ahead. But since our children have been born, I do feel some people are obsessed with trying to take them away from us.

That must be very hard to deal with.

It’s a very odd feeling. Arthur and I went away for my best friend [Pippa O’Connor]’s birthday in August. It was planned over a year ago. Some people on social media started saying that we had been reported, that our kids need to be forcibly removed from our home and that we shouldn’t be in Ibiza leaving them alone. What is wrong with people? They weren’t home alone and we have a great support system. And there was no mention of Pippa’s kids being removed from her home. Sometimes I think, when are people going to get over the fact this is our lives? Let us bring up our children, let us be content and happy. I just find it so odd that people are so obsessed with it. It’s kind of alarming.

Going back to religion, you mentioned you will still get Blu christened even after the negative encounter Arthur had with the priest. What is your attitude towards the Catholic Church?

I think religion can be such a controversial topic, but I also think it’s a very personal thing to someone. I was born in the 70s and I grew up in the 80s going to church every week. My mum grew up in the 50s, but she never really shoved religion down our throats as children and I’m really appreciative of that. I can only talk about my experiences but if you’re a kind, thoughtful person who lets others live their lives, I think you’re a good person regardless of what religion you practise. A couple of months after I won Big Brother in 2001 I went to our local church in Rathangan on Christmas Day. My sister Tracy had a baby when she was 16 and said to me, “You do know the priest is going to ask us to leave,” and I was like, “What? You’re joking!”. We were sat at the back of the church and I still remember Fr. Byrne leaving the altar and walking down the aisle towards me. I was panicking because I thought he was going to ask me to leave because I’m gay. But he shook my hand and said, “Welcome home and welcome back”. I was 23 years old and thought wow – what a lovely gesture from him. And the priest who christened Blake was absolutely fine with my family. That handshake that day from Fr. Byrne was very nice. But the guy who Arthur met? He can do one.

Yourself and Arthur often speak about the need for Ireland to change its surrogacy laws. Can you see that happening any time soon?

We wanted children for such a long time and, don’t get me wrong, I’m not downgrading the term guardian. But I’m their father, yet my sister Aoife [who acted as surrogate] is considered their legal mother, even though she’s not even their biological mother. I’m still very lucky that 95 percent of people are very respectful to me, Arthur and our children. Obviously strangers troll us online, but if they saw us out and about they wouldn’t say boo to us. I’m very blessed with my career and marriage and I’ve two gorgeous children. So I’d like to think some day soon the laws will change.

It has been nearly a year since you and Katja Mia were announced as the new hosts of The Six O’Clock Show, and you have great chemistry with each other on screen.

I remember when I got the call to say I was chosen to host Six, I immediately wondered who I was going to be paired with. I wanted this person to be my friend. I didn’t want to pretend, because sometimes you can do that and just be colleagues, but with this show I wanted to make sure we liked each other. When I found out it was Katja I was thrilled because I already knew and liked her and knew she could do the job just like me. Katja and I go down to the green room every day and chat with the guests. If someone is a bit nervous we like to reassure them, tell them the show is fun and not to worry. The majority of guests message us after to thank us and say that it doesn’t feel like live telly. And that is so true – there are moments where we just can’t stop laughing. Katja started on Ireland AM, and I started on SM:TV Live with no experience, but I learned how to present with Cat Deeley and Tess Daly. I also learned how to make a mistake and own it. Katja reminds me of when I was her age. Learning how to present on live television is priceless experience. It sounds cliched, but we have fun every day.

Have you noticed that more people recognise you in public since joining the show?

I suppose the age demographic of who watches Six would be different to that of who follows me on Instagram. I knew every time I hosted Ireland AM, there would be an older audience, so I guessed it would be the same with Six. What was really nice was during my break from the show I was being stopped by viewers when out and about with Blake and Blu, saying they miss me and asking me when I was coming back. That love and support is important. When you take over a show that has had an array of the most incredible presenters, to now be a part of that family is incredible. The ratings are solid and people love to watch it every day.

Do you feel, as a gay man, representation in Irish media is becoming more diverse?

Yes and it’s nice to be part of change, to be doing something that has never been done before. I know it sounds dramatic to say that, but for a gay man and black woman to be hosting a daily chat show in Ireland is great. I remember on Dancing with the Stars I did a same-sex routine with Kai Widdrington and that was a very emotional moment for me. When I was younger and doing television bits in the UK, I didn’t really get the relevance because you’re so up your own arse when you’re in your twenties – well, I know I was! So when I did that dance with Kai, I realised it actually meant something. And what Katja and I do means something. It’s all about visibility. Children like us at home can watch us and think “I can do that too”, and that’s what it’s all about.

Do you have to deal with much trolling when you’re on TV?

What is funny is, Katja and I exchange the negative things people say to us while getting ready for Six and we are able to laugh at the trolls. It’s like we trauma dump to each other. We’re on national television every day, which must be so triggering for every homophobe and racist! In a way it’s very unique that we do this show together and can share those experiences with each other. Trolling is awful, but we help each other through it by having a laugh about it.

Mainstream television isn’t as popular with the younger generation. How do you try to bring in new audiences to watch the show?

Through social media. I’m not a fan of doing TikTok trends – Arthur has to bribe me – and when Katja joined Six she told me we were going to make loads of BTS (behind the scenes) content and I didn’t even know what it meant. Katja really makes me more aware of the younger generation. Social media is so, so powerful. Even if younger people don’t watch our show, they are very aware of it and engage with it on social media. That’s the way things are going now anyway.

Brian Dowling and Suzanne Kane airs weekdays from 10am on 98FM.

The Six O’Clock Show airs weekdays on Virgin Media One and Virgin Media Play.

This interview appears in the October issue of RSVP Magazine, on shelves nationwide now.