Emma Doran on her 'no laughing matter' moment, fears in life and her proudest moment

Are you superstitious?

Instinctively I’d say no, but I wouldn’t pass a penny and not pick it up. I don’t have any pre-gig rituals.

What did you want to be growing up?

I wanted to be an actress, but I wouldn’t have told anyone that because that would have been absolute notions. If I was really honest I would have said actress/ice skater because I was a big Torvill and Dean fan. That would have been the dream. If I was pushed at school I would have done something vague about art.

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Are you scared of anything?

I’m OK with heights and spiders. I really don’t like slugs. I’m not scared
of them though, I just don’t like them. Not to be judgy, but I think it’s the fact that they don’t have a little house.

What is your proudest moment?

I find the word ‘proud’ really difficult and awkward to say. I would only be comfortable saying I’m proud of my kids, not myself.

What is one thing you can’t live without?

Can I say sleep? I’m very excited about sleep and getting sleep and having naps. If you bump into me in the street and you want to get me talking, I will always talk about sleep.

What advice would you give your 16-year-old self?

Absolutely nothing! I wouldn’t tell her anything and I don’t think she would listen to me either. There would be no point, all she would say is, ‘Have you got a smoke?’

What’s your biggest extravagance?

I love sneaky little lunches by myself. I don’t need to go for lunch alone 20 minutes from my house, so I always create a necessity to do it. I like to have something nice like prawns.

What’s your ‘no laughing matter’ moment?

When I was trying to buy a house, if someone had made a comment or joke like ‘Oh, it will probably fall through’ I would have headbutted them. I was pretty wound up about that. In most situations I try to laugh about it straight away.

Who is the funniest person you know?

I won’t be around you if you’re not funny, sorry about that. It has to be my family and my fella. Deirdre O’Kane is pretty funny, the look of her sets me off when I see her walking towards me with her shades on. She always has a new thing going on. Last week, she wanted a house in Spain and this week she wants to do gigs on cruise ships so we get holidays out of it.

Is there any trait you don’t like about yourself?

If I get hurt by someone my immediate reaction is to say, ‘I’m not doing that now’ rather than talking to the person. I’d rather just go total Jack Russell.

What do you owe your parents?

I owe them nothing anymore because I gushed about them in my book [laughs]. They got loads of attention, so I’m all good this side of Christmas! The parents you get will be the luckiest break you ever get.

What fictional character do you wish you could be?

I would love to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid for a while. Even the hair alone would be fantastic. I would love a bit of that.

If you were Taoiseach what’s the first thing you would do?

My instinct would be to do something selfish that would work out well for me.
But I would have to put homelessness at the top of my list, that is a serious issue in Ireland right now.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever done?

I’ve had lots of terrible jobs, but the one that springs to mind is working in a chipper in Courtown.
It was Leaving Cert results night on my first week. That was pretty bad. It was carnage because the menu was extensive and I didn’t know what a quarter pounder was. There were about 12 different burgers and I didn’t know the difference between any of them. I was cooking and serving at the same time, so what I decided to do was just put food in bags. I charged everyone in and around a tenner and I didn’t get a single complaint. The jobs I really hated were the really boring ones where nobody knows what they’re doing and you don’t want to ask questions.

Mad, isn’t it? is published by Gill Books and is out now, priced at €18.99

Read the full interview and see the fabulous pics in this month's issue of RSVP Magazine - on shelves now