'I refused to give train seat to tired mum and her kids – I wasn't being rude'

A man is feeling uneasy after he refused to give up his seat on a packed train to a stressed-out mum and her two kids, simply because he was "exhausted".

Navigating the unwritten rules of train etiquette can be a minefield. And while most trains have 'priority' seats intended for pregnant, elderly or disabled passengers, one man found himself on the receiving end of a weary mother's ire for sitting in a single seat by the door, which wasn't a priority seat.

The 28-year-old, who commutes home from work daily on a jam-packed train, described getting a seat as a "small miracle". After an especially gruelling day that left him feeling "completely drained", he managed to nab a seat and planned to switch off for the 40-minute journey home. Sharing his story on Reddit's AITA forum, he said: "A few stops later, a woman (mid-30s) got on with two small kids, maybe 4 and 6. She looked frazzled and was balancing bags while trying to keep the kids calm. The train was standing-room only.

"She glanced at me, clearly expecting me to offer my seat. I hesitated, but I was so drained I didn't move. I wasn't rude - I just looked out the window and avoided eye contact."

After a few minutes, she "loudly" declared "some people have no manners these days". It was at this point that a man further down the carriage offered her his seat, with her making "a big show of thanking him while glaring at" the 28-year-old.

Reflecting on the encounter, he expressed his frustration: "I work long hours, and I rarely ask for anything. Is it wrong to prioritise my own exhaustion over someone else's needs? I wasn't in her shoes, but it's not like I made her bring her kids on a packed train.

"My girlfriend thinks I should have given up my seat, saying, 'it's just basic decency.' But my best friend says I wasn't obligated and that being tired is a valid reason to stay seated."

AITA for not giving up my train seat to a woman with a kid because I was "too tired"?
byu/FickleDragonfruit621 inAITAH

Readers weighed in via the comments section on the situation. One person pointed out: "Would it have been kind to offer your seat? Sure, but the same goes for most every other seated passenger. Why single you out specifically? Regardless, it's a kindness, not obligatory.

"If she'd been disabled or elderly, it'd be a different story, especially if that seat near the door happened to be one reserved for disabled/senior citizens, but a parent with kids doesn't get priority here. I wouldn't say you were the a**hole either way, but her singling you out with her passive aggressive nonsense definitely makes her one."

Meanwhile, another user concluded: "Far as I'm aware priority seats aren't for women and kids so she's no more right to a seat than you."

However, another individual had a different perspective, arguing: "A frazzled woman with two children in tow compared to a healthy young guy who worked hard but has no bags to balance, no children in tow? I agree with your girlfriend that it would have been the quality thing to do."