I spent an evening with Sikh men in alcohol recovery and one story broke me

Before I entered the room I wondered, would I be more nervous than them? It's not everyday you are invited to an alcohol recovery meeting, but I still felt like I was gate-crashing a stranger's funeral.

The thick scent of carpet filled the air as ceiling lights hummed above, as one by one the men walked in and greeted each other respectfully, clasping palms together. We all sat around the table, a bit corporate-like with a slightly awkward atmospher in the air.

This was a recovery meeting in Oldbury organised by Sikh Recovery Network (SRN), who provide faith-based addiction support for the South Asian community, particularly Punjabi Sikhs. The service was founded by Jaz Rai, a recovering addict, who dedicates his life to battling the dark cloud of alcohol addiction hanging over the Sikh population.

Read more:'Alcohol ruined my life, now I want to help my community - we have a problem'

He argues it is deep-rooted tradition in Punjabi culture and cultural-centric support is needed.

I've covered his heart-wrenching story before, now it was time to listen to people turning to him for help. I looked around and saw a man in a hoodie, his arms crossed tightly around himself like he was trying to disappear. It's his first time at a meeting.

Others sat defiantly ready to empty their secrets, others slumped in their chairs exhausted from it all. Bloodshot eyes, dark circles, stubble and years of shame were carved into faces.

I heard shuffling from one man who couldn't sit still whilst another croaked like he was pulling back tears. One man, who did not wish to be named, said: "I have been off drinking for two and a half years but I got into cocaine.

"There was always an excuse to drink like weddings where I'd have more than anyone. The cocaine, like the alcohol, got worse. Mentally my thoughts were always down and the come down from drugs makes you feel so low.

"Now drinking doesn't give me pleasure anymore, it's mad how us addicts think. I won't pat myself on the back yet.

"I told my wife which really helped me to fight, I also told my parents but deep down they already knew. I had no path but SRN gave me a path."

The man attending his first meeting, who also chose to stay anonymous, said: "I had a 12-16 hour alcohol and cocaine binge, I rang SRN and said 'I need help'. I drink because of bereavement I have not dealt with and guilt, also loneliness."

Another man shared his story, telling the group: "I was always associated with people who drink and treated everyday like a party, until I was the only one at the party. Between age 18-45 I drank everyday so this is my first year in recovery."

I put down my pen and listened to the rest of the stories, before the participants bared their hearts to me. We eventually laughed and chatted like old friends about the toxic web of addiction in the Sikh community. How Punjabi immigrants drank their stress away after factory shifts in the Black Country, a habit that spilled down generations.

The romanticisation of drinking in Punjabi song lyrics, how women were increasingly drinking, ignoring the taboo. Significantly, many shared how normalised drinking was in Punjabi culture which started their alcoholism.

SRN caters for women as well but none could attend today's meeting, figures from SRN and British Sikh Report's 'Impacts of alcohol consumption among Sikhs' revealed women were increasingly drinking problematically.

Jaz said: "Drinking has become a competition sport where if you drank below the cup line you were made fun of so you had to drink more. In here we feel safe not just from addiction, its amazing the way people share.

"We have retreats in youth hostels in the countryside where addicts can open up in a non-judgmental space. We also have a 90 day programme where we make addicts do things to keep busy like creative activities, exercise or praying.

"There is a forum for the families of addicts where they can offload, as drinking is a family illness. The prominent Sikh bodies are responsible for talking about this, we can't keep doing fashionable things like seva (selfless service) to make us look good. We need to be open about the uncomfortable."

I left the meeting truly hoping everyone will find sobriety, and I also learnt a good conversation is more pleasurable than any drink. Cheers guys.