A statue of Harry Kane has just been unveiled in London

Harry Kane is an elite sportsman, a footballer with the ability to turn a game on its head, an unparalleled eye for goal and a knack for creating chances out of nothing. So who better to commemorate with a statue than Chingford’s favourite son? 

No one, obviously, but they could’ve put a bit more effort into it, judging by the results of the bronzed depiction of him which has just been unveiled in northeast London. An image of the statue first came to light a few months ago when it turned out that Waltham Forest Council had spent £7,200 commissioning it in 2019 but then couldn’t find anywhere to put it. Initially, it was going to be placed on the platform at Chingford station (near Kane’s boyhood club, Ridgeway Rovers), but Transport For London decided it violated some kind of health and safety code (or possibly some secret TfL aesthetics code). So it languished in storage while everyone figured out where to put it. 

And figure it out they have, because Kane himself showed up at Peter May Sports Centre (where Ridgeway Rovers now play) to celebrate its unveiling. Now listen, I love Harry Kane. I am a season ticketed Spurs fan who has watched him do some of the most beautiful things I will ever see. But I also love art, and this sculpture is a terrifyingly dead-eyed chocolate-coloured dud. It lacks both life and verisimilitude, it’s poorly finished and does poor Harry no favours.

The only artistic tradition it fits into is the tradition of awful football sculptures, a la Ronaldo and Salah. If you want to know what a good football sculpture looks like, just look at Adel Abdessemed’s giant 2012 sculpture of Zidane head-butting Materazzi. Drama, skill, power, beauty, violence, what more could you want. 

Kane himself was effusive in his praise of the work though, saying: ‘a real proud moment for me to go back to where my life in football began and unveil a statue. I hope it helps inspire the next generation to work hard and believe in themselves’.

Let’s hope it inspires a generation of sculptors to work a lot harder too.

Want more art? Here are the top 10 exhibitions in London. 

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