'I used alcohol to cope with my problems, but quitting booze made me happier, healthier and a better mum'

Wideopen mum Evie Jay thought alcohol was helping her to escape problems - but stopping drinking made her realise in fact booze was making everything from her anxiety to her relationships worse.

Evie, 32, who hasn't touched a drop for more than a year now, is supporting a North East campaign which highlights how "alcohol is toxic" and is even a leading cause of cancer. Evie herself had a breast cancer scare - though fortunately the lump she found was not cancerous.

Booze is thought to directly cause around one in ten cases of breast cancer in the region - and the campaign, led by regional group Balance and supported by NHS doctors and leading public health figures, highlights how it is a Group 1 carcinogen. That means its role in causing cancer is comparable to that of tobacco.

Evie told ChronicleLive how she'd grown up in a world where alcohol was "normalised" - and this spiralled as she became an adult. She said: "Growing up, I dealt with bullying and abuse. I think anyone who is a Millennial can remember drinking in parks in high school. But it worsened from there for me.

"When I was 18 I was drinking pretty much every day. I lost my granny and things got out of hand. As I got older, it did reduce, but when my daughter was born that changed my perspective. Whilst I was pregnant, having that break from alcohol helped me realise I was dealing with things in the wrong way.

"Things went on a downward spiral after I started drinking alcohol as a teenager. I remember drinking heavily until I would black out. I struggled with my mental health and used alcohol to cope with the issues I was facing.

“During lockdown, things were getting out of hand. I could never just have one glass of wine, it was always more. When I fell pregnant with my daughter Ellie, it was a break from alcohol – but after she was born, I struggled with post-natal depression so I started drinking again.”

Evie said that turning back to alcohol had been a mistake for her - and she had been wrong to think she could drink "moderately". She added: "I did try drinking again, thinking I could moderate it. But that's just not the case. I couldn't just have one and stop - I'm envious of people who can do that. For me, I've just got to cut it out completely.

"The hardest part for me has been learning to cope with negative emotions in a different way. Especially as I think it's ingrained in us a bit in the North that you go out and you have a drink. When I first stopped drinking I found socialising really hard."

She's now been off alcohol for more than a year and said she had had "an epiphany" whereby she has noticed the way in which alcohol had a negative impact on the whole of her life. Evie said: "I was using it to escape from my problems, but in reality I was catastrophising everything because of alcohol.

"Alcohol is pushed onto you as a way of relaxing, but all it does is distance you from yourself. In the ads, you only ever see the ‘glamorous’ side of alcohol – but it doesn’t show you the after effects. I had bad IBS, wasn’t sleeping well, and my anxiety and depression peaked. I never thought of myself as a problem drinker, because I wasn’t drinking at breakfast – that’s what I said to myself for reassurance.

"I’m an all or nothing person, so after a month of drinking again, I decided to cut it out for good. It’s had such a positive effect on us all."

Evie, who works supporting others with their mental health, explained how, rather than "drowning emotions in wine" she was learning to better regulate strong feelings. She said that by finding ways to make more time to look after herself - including by running and going to crafting events - she was a better person, partner and mum.

She added: "When you don’t drink you need to actually sit and really feel your emotions which can be so scary when you’ve spent years suppressing them. It’s been so hard learning how to do that but it’s so enlightening and freeing to be able to sit with a negative emotion and just feel it, try to understand it and work through it.

"Now I’ve been alcohol-free for over a year and I’m a totally different person. I am so glad that I don’t wake up with hangovers anymore. I work in employability for the NHS and I feel so much more productive. I’m definitely more aware of the health harms of alcohol now.

"When I was drinking, I put off going to the doctors but now I’ve been able to address the physical and mental health issues I have, including PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder – severe PMS symptoms including depression, irritability and tension) and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) – which I’m sure alcohol was worsening."

She said that she noticed she was sleeping better almost immediately after kicking the booze, and has seen anxiety reduce too. As for cancer risk - she said the link between alcohol and breast cancer in particular was a shocking one, and something she became aware of after reading the book The Sober Diaries - by Clare Pooley.

The author had survived breast cancer and reading it helped spur Evie to check herself. "Luckily it was just an [issue with a] duct from when I had been breastfeeding eight months earlier," she said. "But it was so scary. You hear 'alcohol can cause cancer' but it doesn't really hit home until it hits you yourself."

As part of the alcohol awareness campaign, Alice Wiseman, director of public health in both Newcastle and Gateshead, said: "We might not like to think that drinking alcohol increases our risk of cancer. But that does not mean we should pretend that risk does not exist.

“For too long the harms of alcohol have been soaring – but a lack of national action has given a free pass for the alcohol industry to glamourize alcohol, keep people drinking at risky levels and surround us and our children with alcohol promotion. Many alcohol harms are preventable.

"We simply can’t afford for alcohol to be taking such a toll on individuals, families and communities and it is staggering to see the impact on frontline services across the North East. We now need to balance the profits of the alcohol industry with protecting local communities."

Caroline Tweedie is a nurse advocate who leads on helping people to live with cancer at the South Tyneside and Sunderland NHS Trust. She said: "When it comes to breast cancer risk there are factors we can’t control, like age and genetics. But I think a lot of women will be shocked by the fact nearly one in 10 cases that we see is linked to alcohol intake.

"People never forget those words 'you have cancer'. Lives just implode. I do think that if more women knew the risks around alcohol and cancer, they wouldn’t have that peer pressure to drink. It’s extremely difficult to say I’m not having that extra drink."

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