'My father said all gay people should be burned at the stake - I believed I was evil'

At the age of six, Debbie Lane knew she was "different" from other children but was terrified at what that meant about her. A childhood of abuse and homophobia at the hands of her late father led Debbie to hide her sexuality until she was 31, when she left her old life behind and eventually went on to found a charity to help LGBTQ+ people in Swansea.

Debbie's experience with homophobia and domestic abuse at the hands of her father from a young age prevented her from coming out to her friends and family because she was made to believe that it made her "evil". She said: "I remember from as young as the age of six my father saying that all gay people should be burned at the stake.

It was really hurtful. And the anger in his eyes when he used to talk about it. He used to say things like gay people are evil. At one time he did actually say that they should all be put on an island and live together.”

How to access free domestic abuse helplines in Wales

If you, a family member, or a friend have experienced domestic abuse or sexual violence, you can contact the Live Fear Free helpline 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for free advice and support, or to talk through your options. Call 0808 80 10 800, text 0786 007 7333, email info@livefearfreehelpline.wales or go to gov.wales/live-fear-free

Live Fear Free (funded by Welsh Government and run by Welsh Women’s Aid) is a confidential service. Calls to 0808 80 numbers are free to call from landlines and mobile phones in the UK. They do not appear on itemised bills. The helpline provides support in English and Welsh, and access to an interpreter for callers with language support needs.

The Refuge charity also provides information, support and practical help 24 hours a day to women experiencing domestic violence. The service can refer women and children to refuges throughout the UK to help them escape domestic abuse. Refuge can be called on 0808 808 9999.

Debbie knew she wasn't heterosexual from a young age but found it difficult to come to terms with living with her "toxic" father. She grew up believing that she was those things that her father spoke of, "evil" and deserving of being "burned at the stake".

Throughout her life, since she was a child, Debbie had thoughts of ending her life but when she was 28 she hit an all time low. Around the age of 28/29, Debbie began to look at ways to kill herself, even driving past bridges and thinking of jumping. For the latest Swansea news, sign up to our newsletter here

This depressive state left Debbie bedbound for three months "praying to God to take" her as she didn't want to live anymore. With bedsores being the reason she finally got out of bed, Debbie decided to see a clinical psychologist who would change her life.

She said the counselling she received made her able to embrace her identity as a lesbian. She said: "That was the beginning of my life, really, that was the beginning of my journey onto a better pathway. My journey began from there, really, from not wanting or not looking for different ways to take my own life, to actually, you know, wanting to live."

Where you can get support for your mental health in Wales

Mind Cymru - mental health charity working across Wales to support people in their communities. Call the infoline on 0300 123 33 93 Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm for information on mental health problems, where to get help near you, treatment options, advocacy services. Mind can also be contacted by email: info@mind.org.uk

Beat Cymru - leading eating disorder charity offering support and guidance for people worried about their own or someone else's health, support available 365 days a year on the Welsh helpline 0808 801 0433 or beateatingdisorders.org.uk

Community Advice & Listening Line (CALL) - Mental health helpline for people in Wales which offers emotional support and information for anyone concerned about their own mental health or a friend/family member's mental health. Call 0800 13 27 37 or text 'help' to 81066

Samaritans - For confidential support, Samaritans can be contacted around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123

All information correct at time of publication.

Now, at the age of 60, Debbie lives an "incredible", happy life with her wife and their children. She now dedicates her life to helping people who have gone through similar experiences.

Unfortunately, stories like Debbie's of LGBTQ+ people dealing with mental illness are not uncommon in Wales. In 2004, Debbie launched the LGBT+ Cymru Helpline in Swansea which offered a support service to LGBTQ+ individuals and allies, as well as Progress Cymru, which offers a counselling service.

Now, 20 years later, the charity is under threat of closure as rising costs make it increasingly difficult to run. With no grants or outside funding, Debbie said the past few years had been "extremely difficult" for the charity. She added: "The competition for funding is difficult and we have been unsuccessful many times. The past couple of years have been extremely difficult. We offer an inclusive service for both LGBTQ+ people and allies but having a niche market can make receiving funding more difficult."

The cost of offering free therapy sessions to their clients is around £150,000 per year, which includes the bill for rent, staff and equipment. The charity are in "desperate need" of corporate sponsors as well as donations to help keep them operational.

Debbie said the contribution from a corporate sponsor could save Progress Cymru and allow it to continue saving lives. She said: "They would be supporting the community and quite literally saving lives by giving us the therapy rooms to work from because we can't work from the street.

"Every year, our work helps save lives—around 20 people each year are with us today because they found the support they needed in time. But as demand for our lifesaving services grows, we urgently need your help. We are a prevention service as well as counselling, we have never lost a patient to suicide. People are dying, parents are losing their children, they need our support."

Progress Cymru are fundraising for £25,000, which they need to raise before the end of this year. Without funding, Debbie said she would have to think about closing the service for good. "If we don’t get the finding we inevitably have to think about closing our doors, but we are fighting and will continue to."

To help Progress Cymru in their fundraising efforts and to donate, visit here. You can also help support the charity in other ways - visit their website here for more details.

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