Hello mi neighbour! | Free yourself today by forgiving others

Hello mi neighbour,

All is well? Good. Doing well on my side. Trust that all will be well with all in short order.

As promised, today we present Part Two of our article on forgiveness/unforgiveness which was published here recently. We started that article with the line 'Unforgiveness is a deadly evil!' Space, however, did not allow for the completion of our discussion on the effects of unforgiveness and the efficacy of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a basic/critical tool given to us by our Creator to develop, maintain and enjoy His creation and our relationships with one another. It’s one of a kind and has neither substitutes nor replacements. Yes, forgiveness is a requirement for life and happiness now and in the hereafter.

Forgiveness bears the description of a “conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has offended you”. And this is unconditional – forgiveness must be offered, from the heart, whether or not it is requested or deserved by the offender. Contrariwise, unforgiveness refers to being unwilling to forgive and is characterised by a lack of mercy and cold-heartedness. The unforgiver is someone who makes no allowance for mistakes. So unfortunate! In just a matter of time, he/she will need forgiveness. Everyone does!

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Interestingly, forgiveness is not glossing over or denying the seriousness of an offence against you! Neither does it mean forgetting, condoning or excusing offences. Though forgiveness is the best treatment for a damaged relationship, it may not lead to reconciliation or release the offender from accountability.

One thing is for sure, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him/her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers the offended to recognise the pain he/she suffered without letting that pain define him/her, enabling them to heal and soar again

Unforgiveness hinders your relationships while forgiveness enhances them. So, where one causes relationships to fail, the other causes them to flourish. Failure can lead to depression while flourishing leads to happiness. Pick your choice. Choose to flourish.

Like it or not, you must forgive for two critical reasons:

(1) God commands it

(2) It sets us free.

God promises not to hold our confession against us. Of course, they must be repented of, with a willingness to 'stay clean', and a readiness to forgive those who 'trespass against us'. Our eternal destiny depends on God's pardon of our sins and our obligation to pardon others.

Let me make it clear that while God’s forgiveness restores our relationship with Him, our unwillingness to restore our relationship with our fellow human beings through forgiveness can wreck our relationship with God and man. Our Master is very clear on this point: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins". Wow! Mi wouldn’ like dat at all!

Mi neighbour, refusing to forgive an offence is a 'crime' against humanity! If we receive forgiveness from God, we must give it to others who hurt us. Forgiving someone means giving up bitterness and the 'right' to get even with him or her, even though you were wronged. And God insists on forgiveness not just for the benefit of others. It’s for ours! He knows the damage that hostility and vengeance can cause in our lives, and wants to protect us from it.

You can pull the trigger or forgive the offence – one makes you a sad loser and the other makes you a happy winner!

Remember, forgiveness cannot change the past! Forgiveness kills the pain which chains us to the past. Free yourself today by forgiving others! The more the merrier!

Imagine the blow that forgiveness would give to reprisal killings, violence in schools, in the homes, and everywhere else! Forgive nuh man … you’ll love it!

HELP SOMEBODY WITH:

1. Stove

2. Refrigerator

3. Bed

4. Food

5. Medication

6. Financial assistance to start a little business.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or 876 884-3866. Email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com . Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.