'I'm marrying American toyboy I met through pen pal scheme while he was in jail 8,000 km away'

A British woman plans to marry a toyboy American criminal after the pair developed a relationship despite him being in prison 5,000 miles (8,046 km) away.

Lucy Patterson, from Colchester, Essex, wrote to violent Sean Hetzer, 26, in 2017 after coming across his profile on a prison pen pal website. At the time, the 42-year-old, a human resources professional studying forensic psychology, was reaching out to cons as part of her studies. Hetzer, then 18, was serving a ten-year sentence in a maximum-security Texas prison after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

“I sent off three letters offering support, and I got a reply from Sean,” Patterson said. Their correspondence, initially professional, soon took a different tone. She said: “Sean wrote a letter and said, ‘Go translate this,’ and it said ‘I love you’ in Spanish. From there, we were official.” The two exchanged letters frequently and spoke by phone as Hetzer earned privileges during his sentence.

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However, they didn’t meet in person until February 2019, when she flew to San Antonio, Texas, to visit him on his 21st birthday. The four-hour meeting took place in a visitor room with a glass divider. Patterson recalled feeling anxious. “Every fibre in my being was telling me to get back on the plane and go home,” she said, adding that their age difference - 16 years - was a source of concern.

By 2020, the couple faced additional challenges due to Hetzer’s desire for children and Patterson’s uncertainty about her ability to have them due to her age. “We broke up for a little while because he was sure he wanted children, and I wasn’t sure if I could give him kids,” she said. The two eventually reconciled and continued their relationship through letters and calls.

Hetzer was released in August after completing his sentence and now works in construction in San Antonio, Texas. Patterson flew to the US to meet him on his release. She described their initial reunion as awkward, uncertain whether to kiss him as they greeted each other. "We didn't know if we were going to full-blown snog or peck - it was a bit of a chameleon kiss,” she said. However, the pair quickly felt comfortable together as she called her visit “very natural.”

Hetzer, reflecting on his release, described Patterson as his main support during his years in prison. “Lucy is caring and loyal. She was there when I needed someone when nobody else was there for me.” The couple plans to keep their relationship going through regular visits, splitting time between the UK and US on holiday visas.

“I can’t work in the US and he can’t work here. We’ll always go back and forth. There is no plan to stay in any country,” Patterson said, noting that they have no immediate plans to settle or start a family. Despite their unusual beginnings and numerous challenges, Patterson remains optimistic about their future. “I see a future with him. He is my best friend, and we hope to get married one day,” she said.

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