'It was heartbreaking' - the challenges of getting neurodivergent kids to school

Screaming, tears, vomiting from anxiety and kicking holes in the wall - some parents say that is the reality of trying to get their neurodivergent kids to attend school.

School attendance has become a worldwide issue since the Covid pandemic, with the Education Review Office saying it has reached crisis levels.

But a UK study found more than 90 percent of students with significant school absence problems had neurodiversities like autism or dyslexia.

A local advocate has called on the government to invest more in learning support, because neurodivergent students' needs are not being met.

For Auckland mother Kathryn Boyes, every day of her daughter's first year of school was a battle.

"She'd scream, she'd yell. She'd grab onto me and wouldn't let go. It was heartbreaking... I was just leaving her there and sitting in the car and crying myself, because you don't want to see that for your kids."

Boyes' daughter Briar is autistic, and she said the rigid structure of the classroom made it difficult for her to behave and learn.

"When she was told to sit down on the mat, she obviously couldn't and was getting sent out of class all the time. She doesn't like to do things as she's told to do them. She'll do things as she's ready to do them."

In Briar's second year at school, her attendance was plummeting and Boyes decided to take her out of school altogether.

After giving her daughter some time to decompress, she started home-schooling her, and said the change in her attitude was huge.

"Having the flexibility to tap into what the kids are interested in and to do it in a space they're comfortable with. She was just a much nicer person to be around, and just a lot happier in herself."

Madelaine Wilcocks described her son Gus as autodidactic - meaning he learned better on his own, rather than in a school setting.

Wilcocks is a teacher, but believed the school system had let her son down.

"The real struggle for Gus was trying to fit in with the expectations that teachers had. 'You'll be at this particular level and then over the year we'll get you to this level.' His brain really doesn't work like that."

Gus left school when he was 16. He is now 19 and is at university studying automotive engineering.

He said the freedom to learn in a self-directed way made his study way more engaging than school.

"I've consistently been there all day every day. And since I'm actually learning, it's fun."

Justine Munro, chief executive of the neurodiversity in education project, said in the past neurodiverse children would have been expected to suck it up when it came to school - but that started to change during the Covid-19 pandemic.

"Parents have kind of seen how much of school is not the focused learning they had hoped, and really seeing how much better the kids were learning and thriving in a home-based situation."

Munro wanted the government to invest more in learning support, which would help to fund things like teacher development and teacher aides.

The government outlined learning support for high needs students as a priority for education earlier this year, but did not allocate any new money for it in this year's budget.

Funding in future budgets was key for improving school attendance in the long-term, Munro said.

"Stop treating school attendance as if it's an issue of bad parenting or bad kids, start treating it as a neurodiversity issue. It's a canary in the coal mine showing you neurodivergent childern's needs are not being met."

In a statement, Minister of Education Erica Stanford said she had heard loud and clear from parents, teachers and principals that the learning support system was not delivering the right service to the right child at the right time.

Stanford said she was working on strengthening the system through practical changes and effective targeted investment.

There would be an update on this in 2025, she said.