Jordan Fitzpatrick

Worker boasted he ejaculated in boss's beard balm after row

by · Daily Record

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A Covid vaccination worker “jizzed” into a bottle of his boss’s beard balm following an argument, a court heard.

Jordan Fitzpatrick made the mistake of boasting about what he had done to another manager a number of days later.

The 25-year-old told his fellow worker that the complainer, who is not being identified, had a bottle of beard oil on his table.

He then confessed: “I jizzed in it”.

When the oily gel was inspected it appeared cloudy with sediment at the bottom and police were informed, Livingston Sheriff Court was told.

The contents of the bottle were sent for forensic analysis and found to include semen containing DNA which matched that of the 25-year-old joker.

Fitzpatrick, of Blackburn, West Lothian, originally claimed he was innocent of any crime but changed his plea to guilty on Wednesday, the day he was due to stand trial.

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He admitted committing a breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner, taking possession of a bottle of beard gel and, by means unknown, depositing his semen into the bottle.

He accepted that his intention was that his former manager would use the contaminated beard gel.

He also admitted making other colleagues at the NHS Vaccination Centre in Pyramid Business Park, Bathgate, aware of his actions between July 1 and 5 2021.

Kevin Dugan, defending, said he would reserve his plea in mitigation until Fitzpatrick returns to court for sentencing.

Sheriff James MacDonald called for a criminal justice social work report and an assessment of Fitzpatrick’s suitability for a restriction of liberty order.

He adjourned the case until December 4.

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