'I gave birth behind bars after finding out I was pregnant in prison'

A woman who found out she was pregnant two weeks into her prison sentence has lifted the lid on what life is like behind bars – and why she and her partner are now campaigning to help other families in the system.

Amanda Tarver was 22 when she made the “youthful mistake” of helping her now-husband, Legend, sell drugs. She was sentenced to two years in prison due to her involvement in transferring money for her partner and receiving packages to her apartment.

Meanwhile, Legend was handed a 47 month sentence for conspiracy to import a controlled substance. Despite being a first-time offender, the mum was given a two-year sentence to be served at Coleman Federal Prison Complex in Florida.

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The time Amanda served was doubly stressful as she was also separated from her then six-year-old son, Dorian, who would remain in the custody of Legend’s mother.

The US was reported to have the highest incarceration rate in the world at the end of 2023, with 1.8m people behind bars, according to Statista.

This is something 300 Letters hopes to change. The 34-year-old mum is sharing her story in a bid to explain why the prison system needs an overhaul.

“I really thought my life was over,” said the mum-of-two, who is from Miami. “When they told me the verdict, I was in shock.

“I hadn’t gotten into trouble before and I was a mother, and expected to receive a warning or probation. But none of those factors seemed to matter.

“I didn’t know how to explain to Dorian that I would be gone for so long. I was in a really bad space.”

Amanda, who was incarcerated from 2015-2016, served a total of 24 months. She met Legend at a college bar a few years beforehand, in 2012.

While she was aware that he was selling illegal drugs to fund his education and help out at home, at the time, the mum didn’t view this as seriously as she does now.

Amanda said: “We were living in a city where party drugs are notorious. I was young and naïve and didn’t think of it as something terrible or really consider that we might be harming people."

Legend added: “I was the oldest sibling to a single mum and was the man of the house helping to pay the bills and rent.

“A lot was done out of survival and what I felt my options were at the time. I was numb to it, having grown up with that culture.”

Reality hit hard when the duo were indicted. When she was seven months along, Amanda was transferred to a special unit for pregnant inmates, which she describes as “a warehouse with no windows and thin beds”.

Her mother-in-law would bring Dorian to visit once a month but the time apart from her boy was hard, as was going through pregnancy without Legend by her side.

She said: “It was an emotional rollercoaster. It was daunting to have a little baby dependent on me in this terrible institution.

“I didn’t even know if I’d make it to full-term because of my stress and anxiety levels. In prison, I felt that my identity was broken – I felt like a number.

“I gave birth behind bars. I couldn’t believe that this was how Legend Junior (LJ) would spend the first few months of his life.”

The tot remained with his mum until he was three months old, before he was taken away to live with Legend’s mother Maria and his older brother, Dorian.

Legend added: “I had to miss the birth of my first son, and didn’t get to meet him until he was three months. It was horrible to hear all that Amanda was going through, knowing I couldn’t be there to provide for my wife.”

The couple would keep each other’s spirits up by exchanging letters, which was their only form of communication. Amanda said: “When you’re in prison, the only thing you have to look forward to is correspondence from loved ones.

“We’d talk about our future and our children, and I’d keep Legend updated on LJ – like if he was smiling a lot that day or had learned to turn over, I’d write it all down so his dad would know. We were so close yet so far away, having been incarcerated in the same compound but on opposite sides.”

After Amanda and Legend were both released in June, 2016, and January 2017 respectively, they got married and settled back into society. But their experience ran deeper and the parents wanted to do something to support others in the system.

In 2021, they launched a charity and named it 300 Letters – inspired by the hundreds of letters they themselves exchanged during their time behind bars.

The couple started out by crowdfunding through existing contacts, as well as put together targeted social media campaigns and fundraising campaigns through fitness events.

They also recently received their first few grants from The Children’s Trust & The Miami Foundation. 300 Letters offers free family therapy, child-care financial assistance and empowerment support groups to families with minor children recovering from the traumas of incarceration.

Amanda said: “We focused on getting back on our feet first, finding jobs and getting back into the swing of things with our two boys. But then we looked at the bigger picture.

“I worked in criminal justice journalism for a while and found organisations that were assisting, but the programs weren’t directly tailored towards the children or the family.

“As an example, an issue for me was coming back from prison with low self-esteem, low confidence levels, and having to be a good parent again while building my professional persona back up.

“Legend was still incarcerated so having trusted childcare at that time would have been extremely beneficial – but I wasn’t eligible for this because of my criminal record.

“I was back home and they wanted me to be good while on probation, and yet there were so many barriers to get through to have a normal, stable life.

“We explored all the different things that we went through as a couple, as parents, and what our children went through – and that’s how we started to develop our programmes.”

Legend added: “We had an epiphany that the key to successfully staying out of prison was family and having that support system.

“So we work to strengthen that family structure and lessen the impact on the children.

“Kids are six times more likely to go to prison [according to the National Institute of Justice] if one or both of their parents has. We want to break that cycle.”

To date, the registered charity has helped over 400 families survive the system, and over 50 caregivers of children with an incarcerated parent – offering emotional support, family incentives, toy drives, groceries and other resources.

Amanda now works full-time for 300 Letters, while Legend partially helps fund it through his work as a lead trainer and operations manager at Legacy Gym.

Amanda added: “We are so happy to bring hope to so many families in a short time. A lot of people hear about us through word-of-mouth, which I think shows the amount of parents that want to prioritise their family and navigate the most positive life possible after this experience.

“It feels incredible to be able to help. This is our life’s purpose. Life is hectic and we work a lot while also focusing on our kids. It’s busy but amazing.

“We’re hoping to get 300 Letters fully-funded one day – we are placing all of our bets on it. Fundraising remains our most pressing issue and this is our call to action.”