'We did what was right for my dad, now I live in fear of the police knocking my door'

The daughter of a man who travelled to Switzerland to end his life is urging MPs to vote in favour of assisted dying on Friday - but worries the country is not ready.

John Hawkins, 66, chose to end his life on September 27, 2024, after an 18-month battle with MND. His dad was also diagnosed with MND - motor neurone disease - and had a "nasty fall" after his diagnosis. John was scared that he wouldn't be well enough to fly over to Switzerland so he decided to fly over there sooner than he thought.

His daughter, Nicola Hawkins, 24, said her dad was scared of being "trapped" in the UK and believes that she would have had more time with him if assisted dying was legal in the UK.

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In a message to MPs before the vote in Parliament, Nicola is pleading for terminally ill people to have the right to choose when they die.

Nicola, a CCTV trainer, from Manchester, said: "The whole thing about being forced or being pushed to go is a myth. If they ever actually looked at people who have gone they would realise they don't have a choice.

"It is nobody's decision but the individual, palliative care is not for everyone. Why can't we have the choice to die. I would like the vote to go through but as a country I don't think we are there yet."

In April 2022, John got the devastating news that he had MND. John's dad, also called John, was also diagnosed with MND and died from the disease in 2012, aged 79. So because he knew what would happen to him, he decided he "didn’t want to live through that" and made the choice to have an assisted death.

Nicola said: "Because his dad had it, he knew the outcome. He was a really active person before the diagnosis. I watched him go from running around Ennerdale, a lake in Cumbria, to being sat down on the sofa with a neck brace on.

“He said if he hadn’t seen it with his dad, he might not have made that decision but because he knew what would happen, he didn’t want to live through that."

Nicola said that her dad "died with dignity" and everyone in the UK should have the right to die the same way. She said: "Dignitas is to die with dignity and that is exactly what my dad made the decision to do. My dad died without carers having to look after him, and most importantly he was able to take his dog for one last walk Thursday morning before we flew.

"If every family went through what we have I do believe the law in the UK would have changed by now."

After an 18-month battle, John, his wife Lynn Hawkins, 56, and daughter Nicola flew to Dignitas.

On September 27, 2024, John took his own life surrounded by his family. Nicola said: "The whole experience of me and my mum flying to a foreign country was a horrible experience.

"We had no support after his death as we were in a country we didn't know. If assisted dying was legal in the UK, my dad could still be here. He was so terrified of not being well enough to travel and being trapped in the UK."

After returning to the UK, Nicola said that she and her mum were terrified of being arrested by police because assisting someone in suicide at Dignitas is illegal in the UK.

Nicola said: "Now my mum and I are waiting for the police to come and knock because what we did was illegal. My dad tried to talk us out of coming with him multiple times due to the thought of us being arrested for going with him. He made a brave decision that day.

"He must have been so scared, knowing he was going to die but the thought of him doing that alone is heartbreaking."

Nicola said she hopes that the assisted dying bill will pass on Friday but worries that the UK is "not there yet".

She said: "I think we are behind in open to thinking about it. It isn't about going to kill yourself, it is about dying with dignity for people who incurable painful, terminal diseases on their own terms - which is their own choice whilst they are sane."