'If I was a single parent I would definitely be in a very dark place'
by Neal Keeling · Manchester Evening NewsRachel Flevill is a dedicated and loving mum to her four children. But the tragic case this week of a mother and her eight-year-old daughter being found dead in Salford struck a chord.
Martina Karos, 40, and her severely disabled eight-year-old child, Eleni Edwards, were discovered at their home in South Radford Street, Kersal on Monday. The case is being treated as suspected murder-suicide and one line of inquiry is that they were overcome by fumes.
Rachel lives in the same city and she too has a non-verbal disabled child. However unlike Martina, who lived just with Eleni, she has three other children and 'a rock' of a partner, her husband Adam.
Friends of Martina have said she was 'struggling' and have questioned if she was being given adequate support. This resonated with Rachel.
Her son, Zach Tahir is 17, autistic, has learning difficulties, and the eating disorder, pica, a craving to eat things which are not edible. For more than a year she has been asking Salford council to provide one night a month respite care for Zach. But she has been turned down four times.
(Image: Manchester Evening News)
Rachel, 43, from Weaste, said: "When I read about that poor woman and her child who died in Salford I wondered if she too had been trying to get more respite."
Rachel also has a 15-year-old girl, six-year-old boy, and a two-year-old girl. "It is constant stress. But I am very lucky in that the support I get from my husband is amazing and I am the kind of person that if someone says no to me I will keep on fighting for what I think is right.
"If I did not have my husband I would hate to think mentally where I would be. If I was a single parent I would definitely be in a very dark place. Martina's case has really hit a chord with me, because I was a single parent once. I wished I could have helped her."
Rachel added: "I have had many social workers over the years. You see one and then the next time it is someone different. I did go through a period of time without being able to get a social worker. But then it became more difficult and I said I needed more support.
"I finally did get a social worker and she has worked her hardest on our behalf. She has taken our request for respite care to a council panel four times and we have been refused and told we just attend local groups (for disabled people) in the area. I have said going to groups is no good.
"Now this panel has not sat for months. I asked if there was not an emergency panel for people who are absolutely desperate to have some respite care for their child. I was told there was no such thing.
(Image: Manchester Evening News)
"I believe it was meant to start last week and once again did not go ahead. I understand it may possibly have something to do with staffing issues. I can never get to the root of the problem. I feel sorry for my social worker as I am hammering her and she is saying we have no panel I cannot do anything.
"The panel won't see parents, the social worker has to make your case. Mine has been before the panel four times and knocked back each time.
"I have visited the place Zach would go to and it is fabulous and the staff are great. He has been there for a couple of hours to have his tea there. It is in Ellesmere Park in Salford and the council refers people there.
"My social worker had requested two nights a month of respite care. She was hoping that they might say at least that we can have one night a month. If we got that we could do more things as a family. We are very restricted with Zach.
(Image: Todd Fitzgerald)
"Zach is severely autistic, non verbal, still in nappies. He hates going anywhere to restaurants for example. He is continually noisy, making sounds, he is not discreet at all. My oldest daughter gets really embarrassed. It would be nice to go out to have something to eat and come back home without worrying about Zach at night. I don't sleep well as Zach continuously makes sounds all night. Just one night would be a nice break.
"Zach's room has CCTV so I can always check, but I am alert at night to what sounds he is making - wondering for example is he trying to climb on something? That's what mums do - worry about everything. I struggle sleeping and sometimes might get four hours a night."
"He is literally a 17-year-old baby. We have to put him in a wheelchair if we are going out because he has no awareness of danger. He would just run off, and he is a big strong lad now - he has pulled me down many times spraining my wrist. In school if he goes for a walk it has to be two on one with staff. Pica is still an issue, if he was allowed to walk outside on his own he would eat the leaves."
(Image: Kenny Brown | Manchester Evening News)
Zach attends Chatsworth Special School in Ellesmere Park. "Zach is the sweetest boy, but is in a world of his own. We need more social workers and more resources to help support families with disabled children," said Rachel.
Salford council told the MEN Martina and Eleni were provided with a 'range of support services' but did not disclose further details.
The late Martina Karos had penned a heartbreaking post about her daughter being "back at her happy place" as she took part in a therapy session for children with disabilities back in March.
(Image: Kenny Brown | Manchester Evening News)
Since her death, a friend who dated Martina for several months spoke of the heartbreaking solitude that had enveloped her life.
He said: "She was really depressed and down. She was lonely. People may think 'how could someone do that?'. I know why. She would constantly talk about suicide to me. She said she wouldn't leave anyone behind she loved. It's devastating."
Martina spoke five languages, and had studied at Salford University after being raised in Rome until she was 18.Her friend said: "She was so intelligent, kind, and bubbly." But he added that on their first date she had both laughed and cried. "I understand now. She was so lonely."
Asked to comment on Rachel's case, a Salford City Council spokesperson said: “Our teams work relentlessly to support the residents of our city, children, adults and families. We work together with Salford families to assess needs on a case by case basis, to identify the most appropriate solutions working in partnership. We have been supporting this family and continue to do so, but the details of each case are a matter for those individuals we are working with and the council.”