'A huge problem' - inside the growing issue of school avoidance

More and more students are staying at home due to school-related anxiety and stress, according to experts who spoke to Prime Time.

While statistics are not maintained around the specific issue of school avoidance, family psychotherapist Dr Richard Hogan says he has noted a surge in cases in the last four years.

He agrees with fellow educators and mental health professionals, who have described the issue as "a hidden epidemic".

"It's a huge problem, it is a bigger problem than it has ever been before," Dr Hogan, who has worked in schools for 25 years, said. He began his career as a teacher before becoming a school principal and later a family psychotherapist.

Sometimes referred to as emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA), it occurs when intense anxiety or distress prevents a student from attending school, despite parental support.

Data collected on the issue covers the number of students missing school consistently for any reason, rather than EBSA specifically.

Students who miss more than 20 days of school are referred to a branch of the Child and Family Agency, Tusla’s, Education Support Service (TESS). Since the start of 2021, it has recorded a steady increase in referrals of students consistently not attending school.

It is not known how many of them relate to EBSA, which is defined by Tusla as a systematic difficulty where students find it hard to attend or stay in school.

It can become a problem at any age, but most typically occurs in children between 5-7 and between 11-14 years old.

"Generally, the student refuses to attend school and experiences significant distress. School avoidance differs from truancy in that the young person is at home with the knowledge of the family despite their efforts to enforce attendance," according to Túsla.

‘Breakdown’

One teenager who has struggled with severe anxiety related to attending school is Jessica Murphy from Killala in Co Mayo.

She had what she describes as a "breakdown" in November 2023 that kept her out of school for nearly 12 months.

Having had intermittent issues with school avoidance throughout secondary school, it eventually came to a head for the Mayo teen late last year.

On the day of her "breakdown" Jessica walked into the school secretary’s office and was sent to the counsellor.

"I talked to her [the counsellor], and I couldn't stop crying for about an hour and a half before my mum had to pick me up," Jessica said.

The school then phoned her mother Julie and straight away she knew her daughter was in trouble.

"She was in a terrible state. She couldn’t stop crying. She could barely talk. I brought her straight to the doctors," Julie said.

Despite her struggle, Jessica initially tried to carry on as normal.

"I tried to go into school the next few days, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was out in the parking lot crying and not being able to get out of the car, too scared to come in.

"After that, I told my mum that if I kept being forced or sent to try and go to school, that I actually don't see a future for my life. That was a bit of a heartbreak, I think, for my mum to hear that from her child," Jessica said.

Primary school

Jessica had loved primary school. Her parents Julie and Denis were happy that their daughter was content at school with a group of close friends.

When the Covid pandemic and social restrictions were introduced, Jessica enjoyed being schooled at home in Killala, Co Mayo.

It was after she made the transition to secondary school, that her life took a turn for the worse.

Jessica’s mother Julie started getting phone calls from the school to come and collect her daughter as she was not feeling well. Once or twice a week the school would call to say that Jessica was ill with a stomach-ache or another ailment.

"I ended up bringing her to the doctor. I was convinced there's something wrong here, like something wrong with her stomach," Julie told Prime Time.

At the time Jessica was unaware her symptoms in first and second year of secondary school were related to stress.

"My heart would flutter a little bit. I had stomach migraines where I felt sick all the time. And I didn't realise, but that was probably the anxiety thing until third year," Jessica said.

"Then I started feeling like a dread to come over me that I don't want to go into school. And I was afraid and scared of coming in."

School avoidance

The issue often referred to as ‘school refusal’ but family psychotherapist Dr Richard Hogan, says that terminology is incorrect.

"The term refusal seems like the child has made a decision just not to go to school. It can seem quite arbitrary," he told Prime Time.

"But for a lot of families and for a lot of parents it's not an arbitrary decision. The child just cannot manage whatever is in that school environment. So, it's about an avoidance of a problematic school experience," Dr Hogan said.

‘Punch in the gut’

For Jessica Murphy, her experience of being in the throes of school avoidance amounted to much more than a simple refusal to go to school.

"It was like a feeling that something bad was going to happen to me all the time. And it felt like I was going to die, basically, to put it in simpler terms. It felt like I wasn't meant to be there, and that I was doing something wrong by being there," Jessica said.

"It was like I was walking myself off a cliff, basically, that people were pushing me over the edge too often. That I would have been comfortable with. But really, it was just walking through school."

Medication for her abdominal migraines did help Jessica but last November things came to a head.

She said: "I thought other people had bigger problems than me putting it onto them as well. I didn't want anyone to worry about me or anything like that. So, I kept it to myself until I had a breakdown in November."

This prompted her to visit the school secretary’s office and ultimately the counsellor.

Julie and her husband Denis initially thought that the pressures of Junior Cycle exam year may have caused Jessica’s anxiety. They got her some private counselling, but her problems escalated after Christmas.

"When it came for her to go back to school in January, she was way worse. She couldn't get out of the bed. She wasn't leaving the house. She couldn't get into the car. It was tough," Julie said.

"It's like a punch in the gut, to be honest. I felt like a deer in headlights. You don't know what to do. You don't know how to help. My child, who was so outgoing, so bright, so lovable, and she doesn't want to go on."

After Jessica started telling her parents that she "didn’t want to go on" and "it would all be better off without her" she was referred by her GP to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). She was seen within a week and put under 24-hour supervision.

Julie said the family had a very positive experience with CAMHS, who put a care plan in place for Jessica.

On the back of advice from family, friends and various professionals Julie persisted in trying to get her daughter back to school. But Jessica was "a shell of herself" according to her mother and found it too difficult.

"The school has been fantastic, but they still need her in school. Legally, she has to be in school. There's mention of Tusla being brought in. That's huge pressure when you're already under so much stress," Julie said.

She added: "There's peer pressure. Everyone else's child is going to school. Why isn't she putting her uniform on and going to school? You feel she's missing out. You feel judged. What have I done? What did I do wrong?"

Recovery

So, what does a parent do when their teenager feels unable to go to school?

"My husband and I just didn't know what to do. But to help her through it, to get her out of the house, she went for walks with my husband, Denis. I would try and get her to the shops, even just get her used to restaurants again and shops again," Julie said.

These small things have helped, and Jessica says she has made huge strides towards recovery.

"It took me a year for me to get over it and start coming back to school. But I took it slowly, doing one or two classes and then made my way up," she said.

"I feel proud. I feel like I've overcome something that I didn't think I'd ever do. I feel like I found the light at the end of my tunnel. My mom's my best friend, so she really helped me through that time."

Jessica’s mother Julie says her daughter returning to school has filled her with pride, but she knows Jessica still has a long way to go.

"She still has a long road ahead of her. Outside of school, she still wouldn't go out too much. But it's huge. We're so proud of her. She's back to school. She started on a reduced timetable in September, and she's worked her way up now to be doing full days," Julie said.

Ongoing issue

Dr Hogan believes that while school closures during Covid exacerbated the issue of school avoidance, it has always been a problem.

"It’s always been there to varying degrees. There have always autistic children, and children who are neuro-divergent and have dyspraxia, dyscalculia and dyslexia. They struggle in the school environment. They struggle with the curriculum. They struggle with interpersonal relationships," Dr Hogan said.

Aideen Connaughton, a career guidance teacher with 25 years’ experience Gorey Community School in Co Wexford, which is Ireland’s biggest school in terms of pupils, says the reasons for school avoidance are complex and multi-faceted.

"What we would see, it could be struggles with gender, sexuality, issues with friends, bullying. You could have a child who is just falling behind for whatever reason, academically, undiagnosed, specific learning difficulties, or neurodiversity," Ms Connaughton said.

Speaking out

For Jessica, speaking out about her experience of school avoidance was important because she wanted to help people better understand the issue.

"[People] either feel pity for you or they'll be like, ‘Oh, her mother is not doing the right job, not forcing her in’… So, it's very hard for people to understand what you've been through when they haven't been through it themselves."

She also wants to provide comfort to others that may be going through the same thing.

"I don't want anyone else to feel like they're going through this alone… at the start, I felt like I was the only person going through this. I just want people to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel."

Reporter Conor McMorrow and producer/director Isabel Perceval’s report on school avoidance is broadcast on the 7 November edition of Prime Time.

Details of organisations that may assist in relation to mental health can be found at rte.ie/helplines.