Dear Coleen: I worry about my girls growing up in this brutal world

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Dear Coleen

I’M really struggling with anxiety and don’t know how to get on top of it. It’s not directly to do with my own life, but more about what’s going on in the world right now.

I feel panicked every time I see the news and it’s getting to the point where I can’t sleep.

My husband and I have two daughters, aged 14 months and three years, and sometimes I can’t bear to think about the world they’ll be growing up in.

What’s particularly hard for me is hearing about innocent children killed in the Middle East and Ukraine, and families torn apart, and I automatically think about my own kids.

I’ve become friendly with another mum, who’s Ukrainian and over here with her daughter and mother, while her husband is fighting in the war. It’s heartbreaking and I feel guilty for feeling like this when she has real problems to deal with.

It just seems every day there’s something new to worry about, whether it’s conflict or the cost of living or crime. I don’t know how I’ll protect my girls from it.

I hope this letter doesn’t seem trivial when people are actually going through this stuff, while I’m at home worrying about it.

How can I cope better?

Coleen says

I THINK it helps to know you’re not the only one feeling it. I read things that make me feel ­helpless and give me sleepless nights. It’s OK to take a break from the information overload when you’re overwhelmed.

You need to make a conscious decision to do it and impose your own boundaries, whether that’s setting downtime on your phone or reassessing who and what you follow and sticking to trusted news organisations.

Be in control of what you’re seeing and hearing.

Obviously, terrible things have always happened, but the difference now is that we’re constantly bombarded with information and opinion through our phones and devices, and it can impact mental health.

Sometimes stories pop up on our social media feeds ­unsolicited, making it even harder to control.

Try to be more mindful of living in the present moment to help avoid overthinking what may or may not happen in the future. Finding a way to help at a local level in your community can have a positive effect too.

Focus on what you can control in your own environment and practise gratitude for the people and things in your life. Think about ways to destress and rewire your thinking – there are amazing meditation and self-help apps and podcasts out there, which is a great aspect of social media.

It’s important for us all to stay informed and engaged, but it’s also important to feel in control of how we take on information.

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